All the circumstances that we experience and live every day, our environment and every relationship or person we encounter is a reflection of what is happening within ourselves. Therefore, every issue or conflict if first resolved it inside ourselves it will dissolve in reality too.
Think about a problem that you have something that you haven’t been able to resolve yet. I really want to help you guys, give you a different perspective that will empower you to make better decisions about your life and increase the quality of your life as a result.
I will share a personal story that some of you hopefully will be able to relate. I have lived in shared accommodations in the Netherlands, in Ireland and in London. I shared a house with people from all different backgrounds and nationalities. French, Spanish, Thai, Chinese, German, Dutch, English and I always got along with housemates very well and made friends as a result.
The only housemate relationship that wasn’t smooth was with an English lady not so long ago. We always had disagreements and conflicts about cleaning the house about taking care of the common areas and processes around those tasks. Those conflicts turned into verbal fights and it got to a point where there was tension between us all the time. Obviously, none wants to live in a place like this and it really made me think why I was going through those feelings and what I had to do to resolve the relationship and encourage peace and friendship instead.
As I usually do, I turned inside myself for the solution, I knew it had nothing to do with her. I mean I knew that I am a very tidy person, very clean, almost OCD and I have high expectations in terms of keeping the house clean and tidy. I also knew that this particular lady was not too concerned about cleanliness and tidiness in the house. It was not high on her priority list let’s say. So when I was getting upset about a certain undone task in the kitchen, she couldn’t understand why I was upset and that would get me frustrated even more.
I realized that I needed to accept who she is, I had to accept that she has a different background and upbringing and therefore this behavior was normal for her. I just had a different standard of hygiene and tidiness in the house. The moment I accepted that I had a different expectation from her. I also thought that I should focus on our similarities and see her from a point of love and compassion as a human being. We have more similarities than differences, but I was too consumed on focusing on differences at first.
Also, I decided that having peace in the house was a lot more important that anything else. Therefore, I was able to resolve the issue within myself without even having to talk to her. I accepted that I won’t get the level of commitment I want for the cleanliness of the house from her and that is ok. I wasn’t going to give up my happy and upbeat vibe because she didn’t do a certain task.. I decided my happiness and peace are very important and as a result, I won’t give up on them so easily.
The moment that change happened inside of me, nothing was the same in our relationship. Everything had changed, she didn’t affect me anymore because I was at peace with myself and that fact that we are different in that area and that’s ok. We have a lot more similarities than differences.
I ‘m very proud that we have kept that sentiment and peace in the house for quite some time and never went back to the old ways. This was a big lesson for me, one that I’m very happy to have understood and utilize its wisdom.
Let me know if you found that story valuable and how you were able to resolve an issue that you face. Let’s keep this conversation about development and self-awareness growing.